This week I put my first full batch of support letters in the mail. And this coming Sunday I’ll be giving my first presentation in Church about going to Japan, and looking for supporters. In other words I’ve gotten to the part where I have to start asking people for money, which seems to be on everyone’s list of least favorite activities. My initial reaction to the thought, in this context, is pretty much what you’d expect: I really don’t want to do it. However if I think about it a bit I quickly realize that from a Biblical perspective, this can and should be a great opportunity for spiritual growth on my part, and on the part of anyone willing to support me financially.
For my part I’ve always been very self reliant. I like to take care of myself, and not have to depend on anyone else. about 6 years ago I remember thinking that I would only consider doing missions if I could do it without having to raise support. For instance, I figured that there would be such a need for computer skills that a mission would hire me to work for them overseas, and I’d let them worry about the financial part. Or perhaps I’d become a “tentmaker” and mininster like Paul did to the Corinthians when he supported himself financially while teaching and deiscipling them. Nevermind the fact that this was not Paul’s prefered way of doing things and that as a rule Paul prefered to be supported by other Churches and Christians on his trips. It still sounded more pleasent to be able to rely on my own ability to sustain myself rather than relying on God and His people.
My attitude towards this changed when I talked to a missionary who went this route, and heard about the frustrations he had in not having nearly enough time to learn master the language, and to actually do missions. Shortly after that I found myself in a similar position: I was leading a highschool youth group while working a full time job. I found that I wanted to do more and more to reach out to the highschool kids, but the fact that my church is too small to afford to pay a youth pastor meant that I had to spend far more time at work than ministering to the kids. I decided that if God should ever call me into full time ministry, I would have to jump through whatever hoops were required, and if that meant raising support, I’d do it.
But its even more than that. This is a chance for me to be completely dependent on God, something that I have always struggled with, and something that has always kept me from reaching the full potential He has for me. Whenever I insist on doing things on my own power, I find myself severly lacking. And the only reserve I have access to is God’s power, which requires that I first relinquish my own.If I live by faith in myself I run into some things that are possible, but far more that are impossible. But if I have faith even as large as a mustard seed, I am promised thatnothing will be impossible for me. And if the fact that I will be forced to be dependent on the generosity of God’s people is what constantly reminds me to be dependent on the grace of God, then I’m excited at the prospect. I pray God will move in the hearts of all who get my feeble support letter, and through His power provide for all my needs.